he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
