i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
