Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
