She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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