I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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