Betty ford says i'm here all night
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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