I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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