how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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