Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
