"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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