I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Green mimosas i think yes
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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