What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??