No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
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Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.