If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.