Don't you send me to vm
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes