are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.