Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
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Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?