Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
