The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
