She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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