I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
