I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
