is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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