You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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