he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
