It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
