What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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