Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
