Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
