Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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