just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
