I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
