Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you never un-have a 4some
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
