Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
