Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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