eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Less talking, more tequila
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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