The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize