I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We need to get me chipped asap
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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