for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
