I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
