My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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