Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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