can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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