Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He had one of those small greek statue penises
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
