Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
