we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
