Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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