it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
