I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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