He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
