New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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