We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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