Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
