I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize