onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
