goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize