If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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