Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
