The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
