Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I need to calm my uterus...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize