so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
