Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Pappa wants mamma naked
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
