Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
