Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
