I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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