Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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