I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
