You can't special order awesome
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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