six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize