haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
