Can Purell be used as lube?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
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Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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